Wednesday, December 5, 2007

Confessions

One night, shortly after we hired the new employees, I had them all come in for a big group training to review what I had taught them. We met in a plush conference room upstairs in the ASB. I couldn't help but notice that Adam took a seat as close to me as he could get. :) Well, shockingly, I experienced technical difficulties trying to get the powerpoint I had prepared to work. But did my prince charming jump up to rescue me? No! Luckily, someone else there did. While he was figuring things out, I happened to catch Adam looking at me. When I asked him what he wanted, he answered, "Nothing." Well, much later, he confessed that he was actually thinking something along the lines of, "Man, she's so cute!" And that when I asked him what he wanted, he was thinking, "Oh, no! She totally knows what I'm thinking!" Hardly! I had no idea! I'm sorry, that story just makes me giddy with joy!

Ok, I had to take a few minutes to compose myself. I still can't stop smiling. Well, the weeks wore on, and I got to know more and more about Adam. I loved everything I learned. One night he showed me a family portrait and told me about each of his four brothers. I thought I would never be able to keep their names straight. Even though there was no reason to bother at the time, I still tried. I thought it was a good sign that he wanted me to know about his family. Sometimes I would catch him looking at me from across the room, and my heart would stop beating. I still couldn't tell if he was interested in me, though, because I didn't know how he acted outside of work. I wanted so much see him outside of work, but I'm an old fashioned girl who doesn't believe in asking boys out. And he didn't think he was allowed to ask out his supervisor. (I think I neglected to mention that. In a way, I was his supervisor. Just in that I had to train him, and set his schedule. I didn't have hiring/firing power or anything like that at all. Still, it bothered him.)

So, I contrived a way for us to "accidentally" meet on campus. I happened to notice that we each had a class in the same building at the same time twice a week. I thought if I just happened to be waiting in the hallway when he walked by, it would be a great opportunity for us to chat just as friends. Well, I finally got up the courage to do it. I waited in the lobby, reading one of my textbooks. I had to take a gamble on which door he would use, but I guessed right. I saw him coming across the courtyard. He looked so cool: flip flops, shorts, Hawaiian shirt, sun glasses (yes, it was October in Utah). Suddenly, I was seized with fear. What if he could see through me? What if he just smiled and kept walking? I'd rather live wondering what might have been than know for sure that he didn't care. I quickly ducked into another hallway and buried my nose in my book. Adam walked by, completely oblivious to my presence. I did try once more, but that attempt was sabotaged by my sister, who was more concerned about being on time to class than seeing my latest crush. Crazy!

2 comments:

marmee said...

Sweetie, this is SO good! Please keep writing! Even though I know a good bit about your experience with meeting and getting to know Adam, it's nice to hear your details and feelings.
I love you,
Mom

beccabearden said...

melon! i am the sister who sabotaged you, i gather. sorry about that! i didn't know what i was doing... i just wanted to graduate. love you!